Home, Smart Home: A Nerd’s Dream Fortress
I have a dream… not as big as Martin’s though. Don’t get your hopes up.
Mine’s the usual one—like most people have. A home. But make it engineer edition.
I want to build my dream house. And I want to make it smart.
Not just “solar panels and Alexa, what’s the weather?” kind of smart.
Smart smart.
Like that guy in your MAKEL class who always asked deep questions when you hadn’t even figured out which one was the nut and which one the bolt.
Smart smart is the new Smart.
I’m talking predictive systems, motion-triggered routines, temperature-based ventilation, AI-driven food inventory, maybe even a passive-aggressive voice that judges me when I skip the gym.
I am that person who tries to carry every grocery bag in one trip rather than go back twice.
So…
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Enter: Project Половина Ротация v2.0
What if my home knew I was bringing groceries?
Dream Feature #1: Smart Driveway Weight Detection System
There will be weight sensors at the gate. Here’s the logic:
• Car + me + ~20–30kg extra = groceries.
The trolley unlocks and parks itself nearby.
• Car + me + 40–70kg extra = possibly a boxed TV or furniture.
Doors open automatically. Maybe a mini hand pallet rolls over to help.
• Car + me + ~75kg extra, unknown blond man onboard =
Face recognition triggers romantic lighting. Dimmed lights. Soft jazz. Mood: set.
• Same car + same weight as Tuesday, but it’s Thursday =
Emotional damage suspected. Coffee starts brewing. Jacuzzi preps itself for a “wash the site dust off” evening.
I want a home that learns me. Builds habits with me, that works for me. Keeps me peaceful and prepped without the effort.
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1. “The Fortress Must Have a Pool”
If it doesn’t have a pool, it’s not mine.
I swim religiously. So the smart home will eventually learn:
• Mondays and Fridays = pool heating starts at 6:30pm in winter.
• Summer = early swims. Roof retracts for sun.
But here’s the twist: it adapts.
If I have a dentist appointment in my iPhone calendar, it delays the prep.
If I’ve been shifting my swims to mornings lately, it notices and adjusts.
Simple? Sure. Necessary? No.
But hey—so is half the content of my field reports, and we still write them.
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2. The Gym That Watches Me Back
A smart, CrossFit-style setup.
Mirrored screens turn into workout videos.
When ПР (that’s the home) senses I need cardio, it queues up an aerobic session.
If I’m lifting weights, it mirrors my stance for form correction.
It’ll even read my mood and create playlists accordingly.
AI routines tailored to me—because I’m not the same on Monday and Thursday. So it learns me, from me - basicly tricks me to create healthy routines.
And if I lift lighter than usual?
“Are you okay?” – or just lower the blinds in silent disappointment.
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3. The Industrial Interior: Tech, But Make It EPC
Remember my second blog post? “Engineer, OK. But Why Like This?”
I told you—70% of us in this sphere actually love it.
So yeah, of course I love industrial interiors.
Concrete-look walls. Brick in the reading nook. Big glass panels.
High ceilings. Floor-to-ceiling doors.
A sky window. Maybe a steel kitchen island.
Basically—my container camp room, but make it sexy.
I want my home to feel like a container.
Not because it’s small. But because it’s mission control.
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4. Emotional AI + Canine Integration
Let’s be honest. My life revolves around a four-pawed CEO.
So if my house doesn’t work for Осень too, I’m a bad employee.
This isn’t just auto-filling bowls. Here’s what ПР will do:
• Track all food (dry/wet), portion it based on weight trends.
• Sync with his smart scale to detect growth needs or red flags.
• Notify me if food/water hygiene drops or he’s leaving food behind.
• Spot zoomies. Adjust environment:
• Morning = open terrace.
• Night = set sleepy music & dim lights.
• Rainy = treadmill time (he’s trained for it).
• When being dogsat:
• Mood lighting for him.
• Guest comfort for the sitter.
• Heating/light presets and daily routine guides.
It will also manage his meds, vaccination schedule, flea/acarid warnings, and anything else the tiny boss needs.
The Living Blueprint
This post isn’t the final version. It’s a draft, a dream, a developing blueprint.
Project Половина Ротация v2.0 is my long-term love letter to comfort, control, and a little bit of chaos—all engineered into a home.
As my routines evolve and my CEO grows, so will this fortress.
I’ll keep updating this post with new systems, smarter ideas, or simply better jokes.
And if you’ve got suggestions—or you’ve built something similar—I want to hear it.
Tell me what your smart home would do, or which part of mine you’d want to steal.
Because let’s be honest:
Smart smart is the new Smart.
